Why sex and marriage? What are each spouse’s responsibilities regarding sex in the marriage? What is not allowed according to God’s word?

The Statement of Beliefs of the Continuing Church of God has the following:

BIBLICAL MARRIAGE

The Bible only condones sexual relations in marriage (1 Corinthians 6:18-7:5). Furthermore, Jesus taught that marriage is one between one natural man and one natural woman (Mark 10:6-9) and is intended to be for life (Matthew 19:3-9; cf. 2 Corinthians 7:39).

In the Bible, other sexual relations are condemned (e.g. Exodus 20: 14; Romans 1:24-32; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Deuteronomy 23:17-18; 27:21), as is transvestism (Deuteronomy 22:5), and improper attraction (e.g. Exodus 20:17; Leviticus 18:6-23; 20:15-16; Matthew 5:27-28; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

Since the Bible only authorizes sexual intercourse between a man married to a woman, some have wondered why sex and why marriage?

Furthermore, we have been asked about responsibilities, as well as what is and is not allowed, sexually.

Let’s start off with the following from Jesus:

4 “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6, NKJV throughout, except as noted or when citing Missing Dimension in Sex book, which normally uses the KJV)

Jesus was clearly endorsing sexual intercourse between a man and his wife.

Here are some slightly edited comments we received from someone about the above:

 1) The word cleave is used which means to cling and adhere.  The husband, having left his mother & father now clings to his wife.  This is done in part through God giving males a natural sexual desire and attraction to females, which causes him to desire a wife (even in an arranged marriage, as was done and still is done in some societies today). …

2) “shall become one flesh” – The longer a couple stays married, the more they become one flesh, in their thinking, in their hearts, in the way they view things.

The Bible shows that husbands have responsibilities towards their wives in marriage:

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. (Colossians 3:19)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. (Ephesians 5:25-29)

18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19)

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

As far as wives responsibilities, there are several, but we will start with the following:

18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18)

While many like to emphasize the submission aspect of the above (and it was the topic), notice that the submission is to be “as is fitting in the Lord.” Thus, there are clearly limits in how wives are to be submissive.

Notice also:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

33 … let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things — 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)

Now, let’s look at something in the Bible from the Apostle Paul:

3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-6)

Here is a comment we received about the above:

This means as an example, that even if you’re busy, as most of us are these days, and your spouse has let you know they need you, if at all possible, you should give yourself to them.

While men and women have the right to choose whether or not to marry (Genesis 24:58,67; Numbers 36:6-7, see also Women and the New Testament Church), they are to have sex with each other if they are married. They are not to withhold sex as punishment or use it as some type of a weapon.

As far as the spouse having sexual authority over the other spouse, we assert that this (1 Corinthians 7:4) is also an admonition that prohibits masturbation as that is an individual sexual act that does not involve both the husband and the wife.

Here are some excerpts of a book written by the late Herbert W. Armstrong:

Original Sex Education

So here, once again, we begin at the beginning. 

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth … And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness … So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth … And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was VERY GOOD” (Gen. 1:1, 26, 27-28, 31).

GOD made mankind male and female. God created SEX in humans. And GOD said it was VERY GOOD — not evil, shameful, degrading or sinful of itself. Only wrong use becomes sinful.

God created sex for USE. Had He not intended sex to be used, He would not have designed it. In the angel family God did not intend sex to be used — so He did not design angels to be male and female. Angels have no sex apparatus, perform no sex function, do not reproduce {cf. Matthew 22:30}.

If the Creator designed human sex anatomy, and set in motion human sex stimuli and capacity for functioning, He did it for definite PURPOSES. And God most assuredly did not neglect His responsibility of revealing to that first man and woman the right PURPOSES this functioning within their bodies and minds was to serve. The Genesis account, I repeat, is the briefest SUMMARY. Yet the basic nature of the Creator’s original instruction is plain. And the full details are brought out for mankind through other portions of the Bible.  (Armstrong HW. Missing Dimension in Sex. Everest House, 1981, pp. 49-50) …

God commanded sex to be used FOR REPRODUCTION! He said, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Gen. 1:28).

SPECIAL Meaning of HUMAN Reproduction

So one of the purposes of sex in humans is reproduction.

But that is far, far from the only purpose — as we shall see later!

Now reproduction, merely as such, is, of course, common to animals and plants, as well as humans.

BUT, IN HUMANS, REPRODUCTION HAS A SACRED AND GOD-PLANE MEANING NOT APPLICABLE TO ANY OTHER KIND OF LIFE!

We shall see, later, that the birth of a human baby differs in striking manner from that of animals. Animals are not born to become the very HEIRS of God!

In humans, there is TREMENDOUS, AWE-INSPIRING MEANING and significance to begettal and birth that is entirely nonexistent with animals or plants. And God intended — had man been willing to heed God’s instruction — that the very KNOWLEDGE of these deep and wonderful MEANINGS should bring man dynamic JOY!

So far as the purely physical functions of the process are concerned, reproduction is the same in mammals as in humans. That is a mere PHYSICAL process. But there is deep, spiritually transcendent MEANING in human begettal, gestation and birth that raises it to an altogether and incomparably higher plane than mere animal reproduction.

Human children are begotten through sex. And that very begettal, period of gestation and birth of a human baby gives us the very PICTURE of the spiritual SALVATION and gift of eternal life made possible through Jesus Christ!

This is another reason Satan seeks to deceive his world regarding the purposes and right attitude toward sex!

By this very BLINDING of the world to GOD’s purposes of SEX, Satan has HIDDEN from his world the true KNOWLEDGE about GOD — that God is actually a FAMILY — a divine KINGDOM into which we may be born! He has HIDDEN from the world the real TRUTH of SALVATION — what it is, where it leads, how we receive it!

This FALSE MORALITY — both the so-called old and the so-called new — has been a far more potent weapon for the destruction of humanity than has been realized!

How Reproduction Pictures Spiritual Salvation

Now see and UNDERSTAND how human reproduction pictures spiritual SALVATION!

All human life comes from a tiny egg, called an ovum, produced inside the human mother. This ovum is about the size of a pin point. Inside it, when highly magnified, can be seen a small nucleus. But this ovum has a very limited life, of itself! Some doctors and scientists believe it has a life of some 24 hours, unless fertilized by a sperm from a male.

But human life may be imparted to it by a sperm cell, produced in the body of the human father. The sperm cell is the smallest cell in the human body — about one-fiftieth the size of the ovum. The sperm — technically named a spermatozoon (plural, spermatozoa) — on entering an ovum, finds its way to and joins with the nucleus. This imparts life — physical human life — to the ovum.

But it is not yet a born human being. Human life has merely been begotten. For the first four months it is called an embryo. After that, until birth it is called a fetus. This human life starts very small — the size of a tiny pin point — and the sperm that generates it is the smallest cell in a human body!

Once begotten, it must be fed and nourished by physical food from the ground, through the mother. From this physical nourishment it must grow, and grow and GROW — until physically large enough to be born — after nine months. As it grows, the physical organs and characteristics gradually are formed. Soon a spinal column forms. A heart forms and begins to beat. Other internal organs form. Finally hair begins to grow on the head, fingernails and toenails develop — facial features gradually shape up. By nine months the average normal fetus has grown to a weight of approximately six to nine pounds, and is ready to be born.

The Type of Spiritual Salvation

Now notice carefully the astounding comparison!

First, understand briefly what spiritual salvation is. Few professing Christians understand this.

God said, in … Genesis, that man is WHOLLY composed of physical matter from the ground (Gen. 2:7 and 3:19). Job said there is a spirit IN man (Job 32:8). It is explained in I Corinthians 2 that no man could have HUMAN comprehension, knowledge and intellect, but by “the spirit of man which is IN him” (verse 11). 

This spirit essence is NOT the man, but something IN the wholly physical man. It imparts the power of intellect to the physical brain. It marks the vast, vast difference between animal brain and human MIND. This spirit cannot see, hear or think. The physical brain sees through the eye, hears through the physical ear, thinks with the physical brain. Yet this spirit acts as a computer, adding to the brain the psychic and intellectual power. It also adds to MAN a spiritual and moral faculty not possessed by animals.

The human’s LIFE, however, is not supplied by this spirit. Human life is merely a temporary PHYSICAL and chemical existence, caused by the breathing of air, the circulation of blood by the heartbeats, and by refueling through food and water. Man’s LIFE is mere temporary physical chemical existence — like the life of an automobile engine, or all vertebrates. .(pp. 51-54) …

The Divine Purposes of Sex

NOW COMES THE BIG TRUTH! SEX was designed and created in humans for purposes other than reproduction — for purposes totally foreign to animal or plant life!

But the world has continued in unhappy and wretched IGNORANCE of these glorious and God-bestowed purposes!

AND WHY?

The Only Authority for Morals

This brings us again to that striking truth, that THE WORD OF GOD IS THE FOUNDATION OF ALL KNOWLEDGE! GOD is the Supreme EDUCATOR! The Bible is far, far from the sum total of knowledge. It is the BASIS — the FOUNDATION — the starting point, and the foundational approach to the acquisition of discoverable knowledge!

God, through the Maker’s Instruction Book, reveals what man cannot otherwise learn! Full TRUTH comes from the biblical revelation, PLUS acquired and discoverable knowledge approached through the CONCEPT revealed in the Bible.

Man, without divine revelation, has been able to observe that plant life reproduces; animal life reproduces; and human life reproduces. From this, IGNORANT of the divine revelation, man has formulated erroneous and happiness-destroying concepts about purposes and uses of sex.

Through the centuries pagan dualism had assumed and taught the erroneous premise that the only purpose of sex is reproduction — and it has viewed even that purpose with suspicion! Not understanding the real meaning and true purposes of marriage, and inheriting its concept from the Babylonian Mystery religion, it placed marriage on a LOWER PLANE than celibacy of lifelong virginity!

Today educators, scientists, psychologists, doctors and those who set the moral standards, rely on the evolutionary concept as their assumed and erroneous basic premise and approach to knowledge. They do not know the origin or PURPOSES of sex. They do not know how, why or when MARRIAGE originated.

The Bible reveals knowledge otherwise unacquirable!

So once again, let us go to that SOURCE of knowledge!

Remember, the Eternal (Heb., Yahweh), who literally spoke to and instructed Adam and Eve, was the very Person of the Godhead who later became Jesus Christ.

The Second Purpose

Jesus taught the Pharisees precisely the same thing about sex that He had taught Adam and Eve. To the Pharisees, He said: “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife … What therefore GOD hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:4-6).

For what cause shall a man marry? Because God made them male and female — because God created SEX.

Sex did not evolve, without intelligence or purpose! It was GOD, by miraculous creation, who made humanity male and female! And God always has a purpose for what He does!

So because God created sex, He ORDAINED THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION. And it is GOD who binds together, as husband and wife, a man and a woman.

MARRIAGE, then, is the second-named PURPOSE of sex.

Marriage is a physical union, but a divine institution. Almighty GOD ordained it! It did not evolve. It is not of MAN’S devising.

Notice, in the scripture quoted above, Jesus said to the Pharisees, “Have ye not read … ?” He quoted an already written passage of Scripture. He said the Pharisees should have read it! Where is that scripture found? It is found in the second chapter of Genesis. It is part of the brief SUMMARY record of the ETERNAL’S original instruction to the newly created Adam and Eve. The creation of Eve had just been described, and God then said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife” (Gen. 2:24).

So the Almighty revealed the sacred MARRIAGE institution to the first man and woman.

WHY Marriage?

Now stop and think for a moment. WHY did God ordain the human relationship of MARRIAGE?

The old repressive, dualistic morality taught that the only purpose of sex was reproduction. But if merely reproducing their kind were the only purpose of sex, NO MARRIAGE WOULD BE NECESSARY! God made animals male and female. Animals reproduce — BUT THEY DO NOT MARRY! Marriage is not necessary to procreate.

Realize this! UNDERSTAND this truth! We can, through sex, have reproduction without marriage! Indeed, that is one of the world’s greatest evils today — there is entirely too much reproduction without marriage!

Animals reproduce. But animals do not marry! Animals are born with instinct. They need little or no teaching.

Ever see a little calf born? The mother cow does not need to call an obstetrical physician or go to a hospital for the delivery of her calf. As soon as it is born, the calf will begin to stagger to its feet, while the cow just stupidly stands waiting. She does not need to teach her calf how to walk, how to take its food, how to do anything. A little wobbly and unsteady at first, the calf is up and walking in just a minute or two.

Now how long does it take a human infant to learn to walk? Usually a year — and often more. But the newborn calf walks almost immediately. No one teaches it. THE CALF HAS INSTINCT. And where does it start walking? It has no instruction from anyone. It starts walking for its first “dinner.” It knows where to go. And the mother cow just stands stupidly still while her calf sucks its milk.

And where is “Daddy” — the bull? That’s hard to say. Perhaps miles away. He probably is nowhere around. And soon the calf will not even need the milk from its mother — and will be on its own.

There is no marriage — no FAMILY LIFE — no HOME LIFE.

But with humans all this is different. The purely reproductive process is the same in all mammals. But beyond this, all is different! The only purpose for sex in animals is reproduction. But HUMANS ARE DIFFERENT! In humans reproduction is not the only purpose of sex. A second purpose is MARRIAGE — and there is yet a third purpose! …

God is reproducing HIS kind! Man has the supreme potentiality of being actually born into the very divine GOD FAMILY!

Do you realize what that means? Of course, God is composed of immortal SPIRIT — while man, like animals, is composed in this life of material FLESH — matter! But the transcendent essential factor is that GOD IS PERFECT SPIRITUAL CHARACTER! It is the supreme intelligence, combined with holy and righteous CHARACTER of MIND that most importantly distinguishes GOD from every other living creature. No animal has this potential — but it is the true destiny of MAN. Of course God, too, possesses supreme ALL-MIGHTY POWER. But without right CHARACTER, this power would be destructive and dangerous!

What is this righteous spiritual character?

It is that controlled ability, in a separate independent entity, to come to a right knowledge of the TRUE from the false — the RIGHT from the wrong — and, by free choice, to CHOOSE the right and the true, and, further, to use the self-discipline to will and to actually DO the right. And how define right? By the spiritual Law of God!

This necessitates that each individual human be an independent entity, with a mind of his own — with freedom of choice (free moral agency) — and it requires MIND power — intelligence — intellect — ability to absorb KNOWLEDGE, to reason, to think, to plan, devise, to draw conclusions, to will and to act.

Inanimate objects have no mind, make no decisions, have no character. Animals have instinct installed in brains. But animals do not possess human-level consciousness of self, do not absorb knowledge from which they reason, make choice, and will to act even to enforcing self-discipline. Animals do not comprehend such things as art, literature, music. Animals do not imagine, and by thought and reasoning processes design creatively. Animals do not acquire scientific knowledge. Animals do not create, question or decide whether to obey moral codes. Animals are not made in the image of God — do not possess mind power to comprehend the right ways of God’s spiritual Law. They develop no character.

Humans are born with MINDS. Humans must be taught, or learn. But the human mind can absorb knowledge and reason from it — think creatively, formulate plans, make decisions, render judgments and exercise self-discipline. Man has the POTENTIALITY of developing righteous CHARACTER.

So the human baby is born without knowledge, but with capacity for acquiring it, and of developing righteous CHARACTER. The human has the supreme potential of receiving God’s own HOLY SPIRIT, to impart the divine nature, to equip the MIND to comprehend revealed spiritual knowledge!

Human babies are born helpless! They need the tender care, the loving instruction, the patient training and discipline and the warm affection and love of a father and a mother. They need the warmth and protection and security of family and of home life. And they are of supreme importance — for they are the potential HEIRS OF GOD!

This righteous CHARACTER is not created instantaneously. It develops through experience, and experience requires TIME. Instinct in animals is automatic, set in the animal brain from birth. But divine righteous CHARACTER must be developed over a span of years.

All this is one reason for marriage and the FAMILY relationship.

But there are more! There are other reasons for marriage — for FAMILY — and for HOME!

WHY should humans marry? (pp. 59-65)

We believe that God made humans male and female as ‘joint heirs,’ or as the Apostle Peter worded it, “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7) in order to be able to give love in a unique way throughout all eternity. God MADE humanity in order to give love (cf. 1 John 4:7-12) and so that there would be more love in the universe (cf. Matthew 22:37-39; see also The MYSTERY of GOD’s PLAN: Why Did God Create Anything? Why Did God Make You?).

Marriage is a process that helps this.

A GOD-PLANE Relationship! 

So GRASP this colossal TRUTH, if you can!

Here is the greatest TRUTH you can ever know! MAN, and man only, of all life forms God has created, can be born into THE GOD FAMILY — the KINGDOM OF GOD!

Animals have never been given FAMILY relationship. Angels have never enjoyed FAMILY status. The family relationship is a GOD-PLANE relationship — not an angel-plane relationship. And God bestowed it on MAN! Because MAN is to be BORN into the GOD FAMILY. (pp. 69-70)

This is a relationship that Satan cannot have. He seems to be jealous of, and harbors hate towards, humans because of this. He does not want you to remain faithful to your spouse.

The Apostle Peter wrote:

8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. (1 Peter 5:8-10)

Christians need to realize that Satan wants you to violate God’s laws.

One of which, known as the seventh commandment, states:

14 You shall not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)

The Apostle Paul wrote:

18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

The idea of adultery should repulse people. Yes, it is damaging to one’s own body.

Intercourse with someone other than your spouse can result in disease as well as an unwanted pregnancy–the carnal world’s ‘solution’ to that is abortion, murdering the unborn child. Even if pregnancy does not occur, the shame and betrayal of adultery is of enormous magnitude. Adultery breaks trust. If your spouse, the one who is supposed to be your partner for life, cannot trust you, no one else should as well.

Notice the following which encourages enjoying marital relations while warning against adultery:

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
And be embraced in the arms of a seductress? (Proverbs 5:15-20)

Proverbs has other similar admonitions against adultery in chapters 2,6,7, and 22.

But what about things like oral sex?

The old WCG concluded that oral sex, presuming both are willing, was fine:

Nothing is specifically written in the Bible to condemn oral sex within marriage if both husband and wife are fully agreed in expressing their intimacy in this manner.

God’s law of love would certainly rule out oral sex if either mate finds it objectionable, or if the likelihood of causing bodily harm exists–as would be the case if one mate suffers from genital herpes, for example.  Therefore, no Christian should demand oral if his or her mate finds it offensive!  It is not a necessary element for good sexual adjustment in marriage.

Oral sex is a matter that concerns only the husband and wife involved.  If both enjoy it as an expression of marital love, then it may properly fit into their lovemaking practices.  But if either partner has any hesitancy about it, it will not add to the pleasure of the relationship and should not be used.  Each mate should certainly refrain from anything that would be offensive to the other. (Personal Correspondence Department, Worldwide Church of God, L297-2089)

That being said, no, we do not consider that oral sex is fine for unmarried people to participate in.

The old WCG also concluded that various positions for intercourse, presuming that they are not harmful. It is not up to the church to determine exactly how a married couple should express conjugal love to each other. You can read the book of Song of Solomon which mentions aspects of lovemaking between a husband and a wife, as well as passages in Proverbs 5. Scripturally, most non-harmful things that a couple would figure out that they could do would not be prohibited.

As far as sexual restrictions go, we assert that anal intercourse is prohibited according to the scriptures.

Medically speaking, anal sex is neither healthy nor safe as it increases the risk of tissue damage and infection. Biologically speaking, vaginal tissues, which were intended for marital intercourse, are much stronger than anal ones, which were not intended for that purpose. Furthermore, unlike a vagina that can naturally lubricate upon sexual stimulation, that does not happen with anal tissue:

The anus lacks the cells that create the natural lubricant the vagina has. It also does not have the saliva of the mouth. The rectum’s lining is also thinner than that of the vagina.

Lack of lubrication and thinner tissues increase the risk of friction-related tears in the anus and rectum. (Nall R. What are the risks of anal sex? Medical News Today, March 6, 2019 https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324637)

Anal intercourse is wisely biblically prohibited. The News Testament opposes being a sodomite (1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10), which is one engaged in anal intercourse (or going after “strange flesh” per Jude 7 or do what is “against nature” per Romans 1:26-27), consistent with condemnations in the Old Testament (Genesis 19; 1 Kings 14:24, 15:12, 22:46; 2 Kings 23:7).

Biblically, any other sexual activity that would permanently harm someone would also be prohibited. Remember that the Bible tells us that, “Love does no harm to a neighbor” (Romans 13:10).

What about watching pornographic videos?

That would be prohibited for several reasons, including, but not limited to mental adultery (Matthew 5:28). Furthermore, notice the following:

4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)

Pornographic intercourse is almost always involving “fornicators and adulterers,” hence that should not be encouraged.

Furthermore, males viewing pornographic videos tend to get unrealistic views of female sexual response that their wives simply will not be able to fulfill. This tends towards problems.

Additionally, females viewing pornography tend to get unrealistic views of female sexuality that their husbands simply will not be able to perform for them to have the same response. This tends towards problems, such making them feel that they and/or their husbands are sexual failures. Pornography objectifies people and does not aid in spiritual development. More on pornography can be found in the article: Pornography: A scourge on society.

Anyway, married couples can have a long and pleasant sexual life if they hold to God’s laws related to sexuality.

Here are some other comments we received from someone who watched one of our sermons against pornography (watch Pornography, Jesus, and the Bible):

​Sex in marriage is a gift from God. It helps cause the couple to overlook, forgive, and forget flaws in each other as is necessary in a successful marriage.  But that same effect also causes unmarried couples to do the same, including overlooking flaws in each other that should not be overlooked when considering a potential spouse.  Today we hear things are “adult entertainment” or “for adults only” as if only adults can responsibly handle this. Don’t be fooled. Adults can’t handle it. They are not immune from the psychological and spiritual effects of sexual relations.  It changes the way they view each other.

The 10th Commandment of Bible states:

17 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife … (Exodus 20:17)

Jesus said:

27 You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)

So, no, you are not to dwell on others and desire sex with one you are not married to.

Now, back to the Missing Dimension book:

Of all life forms — whether plant, animal or angel in all God’s creation, MAN ALONE was created for MARRIAGE — for HOME, and FAMILY LIFE!

Read that again! Try to comprehend it! THINK of the significance! This pivotal truth has been hidden from a deceived world!

Man is, now, composed of matter. Yet in man — and in MAN ONLY, is God’s CREATION still going on! Humans, by repentance, surrender to God and acceptance of Christ, may be in mind and attitude converted — may receive God’s Holy Spirit. Thus they are actually begotten as God’s children! They may have direct communion with God, and call Him FATHER! They are brought into a FATHER-AND-SON relationship with GOD!

This is possible for no other creature — not even angels! Angels were not, never can be, begotten and BORN of God! Each angel is a separate creation. No angel can ever become a part of the DIVINE FAMILY OR KINGDOM OF GOD!

Notice! Of angels, God says: “For unto which of the angels said he at any time, Thou art my Son, this day have I begotten thee? And again, I will be to him a Father, and he shall be to me a Son?” (Heb. 1:5.)

Neither animal, nor angel, nor any other being, except MAN, can be literally begotten by spiritual reproductive process, and then actually BORN into the divine GOD FAMILY!

What a matchless, supreme, awe-inspiring, breathtaking potential! (p. 70)

Humans are, if converted through Christ, the heirs of the GOD FAMILY. They are to enter the divine FAMILY. They are, even now, the begotten children of God. Therefore God ordained the family relationship for human beings.

NO OTHER BEINGS — whether angel or animal — HAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP.

But it goes further!

The FAMILY relationship demands the HUSBAND-AND-WIFE relationship! And that demands MARRIAGE, and faithfulness to that matrimonial bond! The CHURCH of God is merely that BODY composed of the begotten children of God. And the Church, as a BODY, is the affianced BRIDE OF CHRIST …

So there is also the divine MARRIAGE relationship!

Now UNDERSTAND! The husband-and-wife relationship, and the family relationship, are God-plane relationships!

These are NOT animal-plane, or angel-plane relationships!

Since humans were put on earth for the very PURPOSE of being begotten, and then BORN into the GOD FAMILY — which is the KINGDOM OF GOD — the ETERNAL has endowed this GOD-PLANE relationship for HUMANS — and for humans only! What a WONDERFUL PRIVILEGE to be HUMANS — to be given the MARRIAGE relationship now, but later to marry Christ and become part of the GOD FAMILY! (pp. 71-22)

Notice what the Bible says:

14 Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. (Malachi 2:14-15)

The covenant is the marriage covenant–which is part of why there are marriage ceremonies (see also Ceremonies: Marriage, Funeral, Baptismal, and Laying on Hands).

Married Christians, of proper health and of reproductive age, are to have godly offspring. Producing godly offspring shows an important aspect of the God-plane relationship that husbands and wives are to have (though that does not mean you have to try to produce the most biologically possible).

As mentioned earlier, God is reproducing Himself. Deification is what will happen to Christians at the first resurrection (see What is Your Destiny? Deification? Did the Early Church Teach That Christians Would Become God?).

Married couples produce children who have the potential to become deified as part of God’s family.

Fornicators and adulterers are not interested in that as their focus is on self and lust, not things above (cf. Colossians 3:2-7),

Back to the Missing Dimension book:

The Affianced Bride

Here is another vital REASON for the institution of MARRIAGE in the human family. It is to teach us — to constantly remind us — of our sacred relationship to Jesus Christ!

Here is the vital teaching:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. {Ephesians 5:22-23, KJV}

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word …” {Ephesians 5:25-26, KJV}

(The Word, if obeyed, washes away error.)

“That he might present it to himself a glorious church [GLORIFIED — DEIFIED], not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies …. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

“This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:22-32).

Notice! For this cause — because of the coming MARRIAGE (spiritually) between Christ and the Church …

FOR THIS REASON, God ordained the MARRIAGE institution for humans! But not for animals! Not for angels!

Notice Revelation 19:7 — speaking of the second coming of Christ in GLORY, “… the MARRIAGE of the Lamb [Christ] is come, and his WIFE hath made herself ready.” ONLY those made ready in righteous CHARACTER will be presented to Him then!

WHY Home and Family

So, in addition to the FAMILY relationship, there is also the divine MARRIAGE relationship.

So UNDERSTAND! The husband-and-wife relationship, and the family relationship, are God-plane relationships!

These are not animal-plane or angel-plane relationships!

Humans are free moral agents. God never forces one to be truly converted — to become His very begotten son. Yet the PURPOSE God is working out here below is to reproduce Himself — to bring, through Christ, “many sons unto GLORY” (Heb. 2:10) in the divine KINGDOM OF GOD!

And since humans were put on earth for the very purpose of being begotten, and then BORN into the GOD FAMILY, the Eternal has endowed this God-plane family status for humans, now — and for humans ONLY!

What a WONDERFUL PRIVILEGE to be given the MARRIAGE and FAMILY relationship — that we may be prepared for the spiritual marriage to CHRIST and the divine family status, for eternity, in THE KINGDOM OF GOD!

But Was Sex Really Necessary?

WE HAVE COVERED TWO VITAL purposes relating to sex in humans — procreation, and marriage. And these mean a GOD-PLANE family relationship.

But now comes the question: Did these really require SEX? (pp. 72-75)

LOVE Relationships 

To answer this BIG question about sex, we need to look further into the FAMILY relationship that constitutes the KINGDOM OF GOD, and the betrothal relationship between CHRIST and the CHURCH.

God has given mankind the institutions of marriage, and family, to prepare us for an ETERNITY of happiness and joy in His Kingdom — His FAMILY!

Just WHAT, then, is the very basis and foundation of the FAMILY RELATIONSHIP?

That basis is LOVE!

Of all the CHARACTER ATTRIBUTES of God, the very first, greatest and most important is LOVE!

Above all, GOD IS LOVE! (I John 4:8, 16.)

The very first of the attributes of God — expressed in the fruits of His Holy Spirit in man is LOVE (Gal. 5:22). When this very God-life is infused within us, by His Spirit, it is “the LOVE OF GOD … shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 5:5).

Thus, in first begetting us, God infuses within us the divine GIFT of His love! The divine FAMILY RELATIONSHIP is a LOVE relationship. The tie that holds the divine Family together is the tie of LOVE!

To those thus begotten of God, converted by His Spirit, Christ says through John:

“Behold, what manner of LOVE the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called THE SONS OF GOD …. Beloved, now are we the sons of God [begotten], and it doth not yet appear what we shall be [when born]: but we know that, when he [Christ] shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (I John 3:1-2).

Even now, converted begotten sons of God have spiritual FELLOWSHIP WITH THE FATHER and with the Son, Christ (I John 1:3).

So the FAMILY relationship, both on the divine plane, and in the human type, now, is a LOVE relationship — and GOD IMPLANTS WITHIN HIS BEGOTTEN CHILDREN His divine love TO EQUIP THEM FOR THAT DIVINE LOVE relationship.

Likewise, the betrothal Husband-and-wife-to-be relationship between CHRIST and THE CHURCH is a LOVE relationship.

Notice, again, God’s teaching that MARRIAGE on the present human level is to be a LOVE relationship, just as is Christ’s relationship to His Church:

“Husbands, LOVE your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it … that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies …. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (Eph. 5:25-31).

For what cause shall a man marry a wife? For what PURPOSE? For that of LOVE!

The betrothal relationship between Christ and the Church — of which marriage between humans is the type — is a LOVE relationship. Husbands are to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

But notice again! To Adam and Eve in the Garden in Eden, God gave SEX as the cause for marriage — as did Jesus in Matthew 19:

“He … made them male and female, and said, For this cause” shall a man and woman marry (verses 4-5).

Because of SEX they shall marry.

So we have the two scriptural reasons for marriage — for LOVE, and because of SEX. These are not two contradictory reasons. They blend into ONE — to express LOVE through SEX!  …

Sex was created, not only as the means of reproduction and bringing about a FAMILY, but, in humans, as a means of expressing LOVE in marriage.

So again I ask, just what IS love?

And again I answer. the world does not know!

Three Kinds of Love

There is more than one kind of love. The Greeks had three words for it each with a different shade of meaning.

In today’s modern world, the meaning of LOVE has been all but lost. It has been so romanticized, so confused with LUST, that people carelessly call any sex desire or sex use “love.”

Usually this is LUST.

Today nearly all popular songs are falsely supposed to sing about love. Motion pictures, television, novels — all confuse and eroticize “love” and induce society to accept lust in the name of “love.”

The Greeks are more definitely expressive. They use three words which define love more accurately.

First is agape, which is moral or spiritual love. This is the love GOD expresses toward humanity. It is the divine, spiritual love, supplied by God’s Holy Spirit. The natural and unconverted man does not have this love! But God longs to fill him with it — if he will surrender and believe!

Second, is philia, or philadelphia, two related forms. This is the love of friendship — brotherly love — love of parent, or child.

Third is Eros, which refers to sexual love between husband and wife. But it means love, not lust. The Greek language uses a different word for lust. Eros, however, is a love expressed physically, not spiritually.

Just what, then, is love?

If I had to define love in four words, I would say, “Love is an unselfish outgoing concern” for the good and welfare of the one loved. Love is primarily on the giving, serving, sharing side of the fence — not on the getting, taking, factional, striving side. It is not selfish.

God is Love. Consider how God expresses love toward us who are humans. Yes, even those who are hostile, and rebellious toward God:

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Jesus Christ is God — one of the divine Persons who compose the God Family. Notice how Christ manifested love: “God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us …. when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son” (Rom. 5:8, 10).

How did Jesus Christ express His love for the Church? The scripture has been quoted above — He gave Himself for it!

Love is UNselfish. It is not an emotion, though it may be expressed with an emotional content. True love combines the rational aspect of outgoing concern — desire to help, serve, give or share — along with sincere concerned affectionate feeling.

William Graham Cole, in his book “Sex in Christianity and Psychoanalysis,” gives an excellent analysis of love. He draws an interesting distinction between true mature love and infantile love. The latter is primarily emotional, thoughtlessly selfish, seeking its own gratification. Like “puppy love,” it does not love another as he is, or for what he is, but as he is imagined or romantically desired to be.

“Illusion,” says Cole, “is the standard diet of infantile love. It is, as the poets say, blind …. Cupid appears appropriately enough in diapers.” (For our British readers, “nappies.”)

Mature love, says Cole, is not blind. “It has progressed from pabulum to porterhouse.”

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” {Acts 20:35}

That is a true statement, of which nearly all humans are ignorant. Carnal humanity is bent on getting, taking, having. The average person, selfishly, is primarily interested in gratifying the desires of his five senses — with no concern for others.

ALL Sense-Enjoyments NOT Sin

The five senses do cry out for gratification. We humans are composed of FLESH — mortal flesh — MATTER. We can receive pleasurable sensations through these five senses. In their “chaste severity” the early “Christian fathers” deemed any pleasurable sensation or experience, through the senses, to be sinful.

THAT IS EMPHATICALLY NOT TRUE!

It depends on the attitude of mind. If it is covetous, lustful, selfish, it is sinful. But if not, it may be beneficial.

 God even tells us, in His Word, that our senses should be exercised by use, so that we can distinguish good from evil (Heb. 5:14). Our senses were put within our bodies to be used — but not misused!

God created us so that we must eat food to live. He equipped us with the sense of taste. God gave us this sense so that we might enjoy the necessity of eating. We should, therefore, exercise our senses to distinguish true, natural, health-building food from those false foods which destroy health — and then give God thanks, and really ENJOY the eating!

In like manner God made it possible for us to receive great pleasure and enjoyment of the most upbuilding and wholesome kind from the sense of sight. He gave us the faculty for appreciating the beautiful. But a man can misuse his sense of sight by looking lustfully at a woman.

God equipped humans with the sense of hearing. How much inspiring, uplifting, pleasurable enjoyment we receive from beautiful MUSIC! But of course, this sense, too, may be used for good, or for evil. Glorious music was actually created in the archangel Lucifer. But when, in pride and greed, his whole character changed, and he FELL from his estate of perfection to become Satan, he became corrupted and perverted in all his ways (Ezek. 28:13, 17). Satan is the author of perverted, discordant, degenerated modern music — of a wail, a dirge, a moan, a squawk or a rhythmic erotic fast beat.

IN LOVE, God equipped humans with the five physical senses, to supply man with wholesome ENJOYMENT AND PLEASURE! But the use of these senses can be turned in the wrong direction! The privilege carries with it the obligation of responsibility. This is part of the character-building process.

I repeat! Sin is not the thing — but the WRONG USE of the thing!

God intended man to be HAPPY! It is God’s will that we ENJOY life — that it be pleasurable, satisfying, wholesome, rewarding! But God gave us minds — and made HIS WORD available — to distinguish the TRUE values from the false! Not to decide, in our own minds, what selfish or lustful desire would like to make right — but to distinguish what God reveals

He has made right.

The right use of the five senses brings enjoyable, pleasurable sensations that are uplifting, constructive, beneficial — not only to the self, but to others. The wrong and sinful use of the senses also may produce pleasurable sensations, but these wrong uses are psychologically, spiritually and physically destructive and harmful — not only to the self, but often also to others.

It is a matter of RIGHT or WRONG direction.

It is a matter of attitude!

How may we humans know which use is right, and which is wrong?

BY THE LAW OF GOD!

RIGHT Use of Senses

God’s Law is A WAY of life. It guides actions and uses in a definite direction — always constructive, upbuilding, beneficial. That WAY always is THE WAY of LOVE — the way of unselfish, outgoing concern, the way of sharing what is enjoyable.

SIN is the transgression of THAT WAY! Sin travels in the direction of vanity, greed — INflowing selfish gratification, hostility toward God and man. It wants to be served, not to serve. To be helped, not to help. To get, not to give.

The WHOLE LAW OF GOD is summed up in one word — LOVE! And it requires love expressed in action to fulfill the Law (Rom. 13:8,10).

But this Law-principle of LOVE is subdivided into the two Great Commandments — LOVE toward God, and love toward neighbor. The first four of the Ten Commandments define love toward GOD. The last six tell us how to love neighbor. Love toward neighbor is not altogether outgoing concern. It is also a sharing with neighbor — “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Of course that is a lot of love!

It is human to love your own self. That requires no effort — no character. But what is not human nature is to love your neighbor EQUALLY! That requires recognition by an intelligent mind of the TRUE VALUES — and it requires the exercise of WILL and self-discipline and CHARACTER!

The Love Man Doesn’t Have

Now we are approaching the real ANSWER to the BIG question …

Consider! The Law allows you to love yourself equally with your neighbor. But NOT GOD! It requires you to love GOD with ALL your heart, mind, soul and strength!

How, then, may a person LOVE GOD?

Actually, the natural unconverted man CANNOT! Take, at random, any man — any woman — you might meet on a busy street — or out on a country lane. Has he the ability to love GOD far more than SELF — with ALL his heart, mind, soul and strength? DOES the average person love God that much?

What’s the answer?

God’s Word answers,

“We love him, because he first loved us” (I John 4:19).

The “we” here is addressed to converted Christians.

A human can only really and truly love God with the very love which we first must receive from Him! This is the spiritual divine love God GIVES us by the Holy Spirit! But we must first REPENT — surrender unconditionally to live GOD’S WAY — turn from our former contrary way — and truly BELIEVE in Christ, accepting Him as personal Savior.

When we love GOD, it is merely HIS OWN LOVE, on a return circuit, flowing on back to Him again! GOD’S SPIRIT is active — flowing!

So the first Great Commandment — to be kept in its complete and true spiritual sense — requires a love MAN SIMPLY DOESN’T HAVE! Of course, God longs to GIVE every man that love, and fill him with it! But very few are willing!

Now consider TWO EXTREMES:

1) Love toward your NEIGHBOR farthest from any natural affection — a recognized enemy. Here is Jesus’ teaching of fulfilling the Law toward him: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for [not against] them which despitefully use you, and persecute you …” (Matt. 5:44). Does the natural, unconverted man have that kind of love? The world doesn’t consider that teaching of Jesus very practical — because the world is empty of that kind of love.

2) At the other extreme, two categories of neighbor closest to you are singled out in the New Testament for SPECIAL LOVE. One of these categories is one’s neighbors closest to him spiritually — his brethren in Christ. Many scriptures put emphasis on a SPECIAL LOVE for these. Here again, a love is required which is totally absent in unregenerate man. But, in that case, they are not brethren in Christ UNLESS both are IN Christ — have received God’s Holy Spirit! Otherwise they are none of His! (Rom. 8:9.)

The other of these, singled out in the New Testament for special love is the neighbor closest to you physically — your husband or wife!

And right here is the BIG POINT, vitally important, that probably never before entered your mind!

Four categories have just been cited — love to GOD, and (of love to neighbor) your enemy, your true fellow Christians and your marital mate.

Man simply is not born with — does not have — the divine SPIRITUAL love required for the first three of those four categories! — to love God, enemy and fellow Christian SPIRITUALLY, in the manner the law requires!

But when we come to the fourth category — MARRIAGE — we find an altogether different situation!

Even here, when, in the New Testament, the command is given to those IN THE CHURCH, “Husbands, love your wives,” the word “love” in the original Greek in which the apostle Paul wrote it, is not Eros, but is agape, which is the divine love which emanates from God!

The true Christian husband loves his wife, not only in the physical and natural sense possible for a natural, yet unconverted, person — but also with a special spiritual love!

But God well knew that an infinitesimal percentage of humans, from Adam and Eve to now, would be called by God and yield themselves to receive that divine love of God. And, even so, it is then mingled with the physical love God has made possible through sex!

Now we are ready for the ANSWER to this … big QUESTION.

We need, now, to understand some of the FACTS OF LIFE which few ever grasp!

Marital LOVE

GOD is a Spirit. But God did not create humans out of spirit! To have done so would have defeated God’s whole grand PURPOSE! So MAN is physical flesh — made from matter — the dust of the ground!

Of the three kinds of love, expressed by the three Greek words agape, philia and Eros, the natural man is capable of expressing only the last two types of love. There is a certain selfish element in the philia love — love for children, parents or family. We may have this love for those of “our club,” “our team,” “our group.” That is actually, to coin a phrase, love of the “empirical self.” That often is a factional-type love — one of the “works of the flesh” of Galatians 5:19-21 (see especially Moffatt translation).

WHY did not God design things so that married humans would love each other with God’s SPIRITUAL LOVE — without the physical love of SEX? Simply because God deemed it necessary to make MAN, for now, of physical matter.

In His divine wisdom, God knew that His supreme PURPOSE required that man be made, first, on the material level — a physical being!

Being physical, we were made with the five physical SENSES.

It was God’s PURPOSE that humans, unlike animals, angels or any other living beings, enjoy the blessings of MARRIAGE and FAMILY relationships — actual God-plane relationships.

The marriage relationship, as explained, had to be a LOVE relationship. But human, fleshly man is not born with spiritual love. Man’s comprehension of MIND — his expression of LOVE — is confined, naturally, to the physical level, through the senses. Unconverted man can express only physical love — and, in marriage, through sex. The first man, Adam, was created — and we were all born — with one “human” spirit which imparts physical intellect to the brain. But man was made to need another spirit — the Holy Spirit of God. Yet only the few specially and individually called by God, have God’s Spirit — and with it the agape love.

Man is given a CHOICE! So he has full ability to turn physical sex love in the wrong direction of LUST. God equipped him with MIND. He has capability to discern — to CHOOSE — and what he sows he shall reap!

Making man a physical being, it was still God’s design to make possible our greatest HAPPINESS.

Of all the truly ENJOYABLE experiences received through the five senses, perhaps the most intense and supremely gratifying — the very pinnacle of sheer exhilaration — is that received in the sex act of expressing LOVE for the one who is dearest of all people on earth, and to whom one has been joined in blessed and holy wedlock by GOD HIMSELF!

God made us so that we may really ENJOY the taste of delicious food — the sound of beautiful music — the sight of a beautiful landscape or flower garden — the fragrance of lovely roses. The RIGHT exercise of our senses is RIGHT. God intended this pleasure and enjoyment. God is LOVE, and God expressed His love toward us by making these delights possible.

Yet, probably the most intensely delightful of all physical joys God’s love has made possible, is that of sexual LOVE between husband and wife.

It was intended to endear each to the other, bind them closer to each other.

It was GOD who created these five senses, and set them in such dynamic action, with their various stimuli. And God beheld everything that He had made, and pronounced it VERY GOOD!

God wants us to ENJOY living! God made us so we can find true happiness, here and now — we can simply radiate HAPPINESS AND JOY! His LAW is the guide to the RIGHT USE of these powers which can produce joyous blessings, or terrible curses. And He gave us the CHOICE!

God gave us the blessed MARRIAGE relationship, and the God-plane FAMILY relationship!

LOVE is God’s WAY. But natural man can express it only physically.

But if the physical love relationship in marriage brings joys and delights, how much more the SPIRITUAL LOVE RELATIONSHIP expressed in marriage where both husband and wife are filled also with this second Spirit — the HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD!

So, since humans can express naturally only a human and physical love, we come to the answer of the question …:

THE CREATOR, IN HIS WISDOM, KNEW THAT SEX WAS NECESSARY TO PRESERVE THE MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIP, IN REAL LOVE!

God knew what He was doing!

GOD’S answer to those unhappy early religious “fathers” in their “chaste severity” is: “WOE unto him that striveth with his Maker! … Shall the clay say to him that fashioned it, What makest thou?” (Isa. 45:9.)

And again: “Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter’s clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?” (Isa. 29:16.)

SEX was created, in God’s loving wisdom, to make possible these sacred God-plane institutions of marriage, home, and family!

Sex was created to stimulate pure romantic attraction and love between a man and a woman properly mated for marriage; to inspire them with desire to share their lives, their problems, their trials and troubles, their hopes and successes TOGETHER; to enjoy the planning and building together of a happy HOME; and to rear a happy FAMILY.

God designed SEX to produce pure, righteous, clean, holy and rich BLESSINGS! He made it to be the loving BOND which not only would inspire a properly mated couple to marry, but which would PRESERVE that marriage in love. Sex should be the energizing magnet to draw constantly closer and closer together with increasing LOVE a husband and wife — to heal over those little irritations, disturbances or misunderstandings which do occur.

Yet, this very bond which should bind the marriage tightly together is also the cord which, misused and perverted, severs more marriages than all other causes combined. Misused, it can bring nightmarish divorces, wreck homes and lives, leave children without parents, spawn juvenile delinquents!

Let’s save sex for MARRIAGE. Let’s turn to the WAY of all the blissful joys and blessings God made possible, and intended! (pp. 79-93)

Statistically, one of the best things a woman can do to prevent divorce is to be a virgin when she is married.

This is not simply “old fashioned” or biblical morality, it is supported by studies in the 21st century.

Consider the following related to a multi-year study from University of Utah professor Nicholas Wolfinger:

Though divorce rates have risen pretty much across the board in the last three decades, the group with the lowest divorce rates was those who had zero sexual partners before tying the knot. It’s also the group that’s shrinking most rapidly. In the 1970s, 21 percent of women were virgins before marriage. In the 2010s, that number fell to 5 percent. (Study: ‘Virgin Marriages’ Less Likely to End in Divorce. Relevant Magazine, June 7, 2016)

So, we see that virginity rates are plunging as divorce rates are rising
(male virginity rates are similar to female ones). Yet, we still see that
virgin brides have the lowest divorce rates. There are likely many reasons for this, including the attitude a man has toward a virgin bride vs. one he knows was involved with one or more others. One report stated that men had more trust in their wives if they were virgins when married.

Back to the Missing Dimension book:

God Commands Sex Love 

Now back once again to God’s original instruction to our first parents!

Because, after creating Adam, God created the female Eve, He said,

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).

Now what does that mean — a husband and wife “shall be one flesh”?

Remember, this Genesis record is the most abbreviated summary of God’s instruction to the first man and woman. Man must not try to interpret Scripture. The Scripture interprets itself! One scripture interprets another!

What, then, is the Bible explanation of what is meant by being “one flesh”? It is explained very plainly in I Corinthians 6:16. There we find this very passage of Genesis 2:24 quoted and explained.

Condemning fornication between a man and a harlot, this passage says:

“Now the body is not for fornication … Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? [the temple of the Holy Spirit — verse 19] shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh” (I Cor. 6:13, 15-16).

And verse 18 adds, “FLEE FORNICATION.”

The words in this passage, “for two, saith he, shall be one flesh,” is a direct citation from Genesis 2:24!

That is PLAIN SPEAKING!

A man and a woman — any woman, even a harlot — become “one flesh” through the sexual act! A man and a harlot are not married — but in coitus they are one flesh!

In I Corinthians 6:16 this act between a man and a harlot is condemned as a capital SIN! But in Genesis 2:24 — and also in Jesus’ quotation from it in Matthew 19:5 — this same act is commanded between husband and wife! God says a man and wife SHALL — a direct command! — “be one flesh.” A man and a woman (I Cor. 6:16), become “one flesh” in sexual intercourse.

So, translated into frank and plain words, God says that, because God made humans male and female — a man shall marry a wife, and they shall have sexual intercourse!
And the Bible also commands, “Husbands, love your wives!”

And Jesus added, “What therefore GOD hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).

MARRIAGE was ordained of GOD! Marriage has God’s blessing! God commanded the first humans to have sexual intercourse — and so this relationship is directly commanded by God, and has God’s blessing!

But ONLY IN MARRIAGE!

Sex in marriage, far from being a sin, is “what GOD has joined together.” It is a holy and sacred relationship!

All through the Bible, God condemns lust. Fornication — the sex act committed prior to marriage — is a SIN and breaks the Seventh Commandment. Homosexuality is condemned in the Bible as SIN — sodomites shall not inherit the Kingdom of God! ANY use of sex, except as an expression of LOVE in MARRIAGE, and, also, for the purpose of procreation in marriage, is a SIN, and breaks the Seventh Commandment! That includes masturbation, bestiality — any perversion — ANY USE except that of love and reproduction in marriage!

The marriage relation is the very type of Christ’s relation to the Church! The family relationship is a sacred GOD-PLANE relationship! It must be kept sacred. For the GOOD of both husband and wife — as well as for their future in ETERNITY — it must be kept inviolate between themselves alone!

Now UNDERSTAND this entire passage in the 6th chapter of I Corinthians — for you probably have never looked at it closely enough to fully comprehend it before. (pp. 95-97)

Those of the Corinthian church were still spiritual babes. Paul’s letter was corrective. Some were being enticed into fornication and immorality. One, in particular, had been indulging in a sex relationship with his stepmother.

It seems the Church at Corinth was adopting the attitude of some ministers today. They showed “compassion” on this fornicator by condoning and approving his sin. Paul sternly commanded them, by authority of Jesus Christ, to put this evildoer out of the Church (chapter 5, to verse 13).

In chapter 6, some church members were taking their personal disputes before the civil courts. Paul condemned this, saying they should bring such matters before Church officials for settlement.

“Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world?” he asked. He was speaking of the time, after Christ’s coming and the resurrection, in the coming “millennium,” when the begotten children of God shall have been BORN into the world-ruling Kingdom of God! Here Paul reminded the Church (for his epistle was inspired as God’s Word for God’s WHOLE Church, even of our day) of man’s tremendous DESTINY! “Know ye not that we shall judge angels?” he continued (verse 3). “How much more things that pertain to this life?”

He continues, verse 9: “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind [homosexuals], nor thieves … shall inherit the kingdom of God.”

Then Paul shows that, even though one has led such a life — committed such sins — HE CAN BE FORGIVEN, if he repents and turns from them — and STILL CAN INHERIT ETERNAL LIFE. In the next (llth) verse, he continues:

“And such were some of you: but ye are washed …” (forgiven and cleansed of such things, through Christ).

This MORALITY subject is continued in verses 13-15: “… Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord [Christ’s resurrection], and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.”

Then follow the verses first quoted above: “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh” (verse 16). Then verse 18: “FLEE fornication … What? know ye not that your body is the TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price [by Christ’s DEATH!]: therefore glorify God in your body …” (verses 18-20).

Look at that carefully! The BODY is the temple of the Holy Spirit. The BODY does not belong to the individual — we are not our own — Christ bought and paid for us! Therefore glorify GOD — HOW? It does not say with “your mind” — but “in your BODY”!

All through this passage, even from the preceding chapter, the theme has been SEX. These two chapters forbid and condemn the MISUSE of sex through fornication, adultery, homosexuality, masturbation. But GOD established MARRIAGE. Marriage is honorable — marriage has God’s blessing — it is GOD who joins the husband and wife in a GOD-PLANE relationship. And GOD has said a man and wife shall “be one flesh” — shall express marital LOVE in sexual intercourse!

This GLORIFIES GOD — because God ordained it — because God actually joined the husband and wife. You thus glorify God in your BODY by keeping it pure from fornication, adultery or other wrong use, and also by this God-ordained RIGHT and SACRED use of sex in marriage.

This is a direct command thus to glorify GOD by using the body in this God-ordained use. (pp. 98-100)

Consider, also, that sometimes with fornication one can get a disease that one will have their entire life. It is reassuring for married couples who were virgins until their marriage to each other to realize that not only do they not have to live with a disease, they will not get one when they are sexually involved.

Back to the Missing Dimension book:

Frank New Testament Teaching

Now study the 7th chapter of I Corinthians.

The BIBLE — as originally inspired — SPEAKS OUT in plain and frank language, not only against every misuse and perversion of sex, but just as frankly instructing us in God-ordained right uses!

Remember, we read the Bible as it has been translated into the English language. Some translations — especially the Authorized (King James) version — were made at a time when sex was universally regarded as shameful and evil. The King James translators tried to cover up the true meaning, feeling it was “not nice” to speak so plainly. But every original word was inspired by God’s HOLY SPIRIT! And it is time we throw off Satan’s false accusations that some of the Word of God is “not nice.” It is holy and sacred!

For this reason, the Moffatt translation will be used, as well as the King James, in expounding this crucial New Testament chapter on SEX. The Moffatt translation renders the inspired original Greek in the English words of its TRUE MEANING.

This was written originally as a letter from the apostle Paul to the Church of God at Corinth. But it was inspired through the Holy Spirit. It is part of GOD’S WORD for us today.

We have seen, earlier in this chapter, that in his 5th and 6th chapters the apostle was writing about SEX. There were sex abuses — sex misuses — in that Church, which God through Paul condemned. But we have seen how Paul, in the latter part of the 6th chapter, taught that husbands and wives, through God’s sacred MARRIAGE institution, should GLORIFY GOD in their bodies — by giving LOVE through sex between husband and wife — as well as by keeping their bodies clean from fornication, adultery or misuse.

Chapter 7 continues the instruction from GOD of the true God-intended use of sex.

Notice verses 1 and 2: “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”

NOTICE THAT! Get its real meaning! Every man and woman should marry — but WHY? Because it is a sin to remain single? No — verse 1 says it would be good for “a man not to touch a woman” — that is, to remain free from sex, and unmarried. It is not WRONG to remain single.

Then WHY does this passage teach that men and women should marry? Does it say “marry in order to beget children”? No, it says nothing here about the purpose of marriage being reproduction.

WHY, then? This scripture answers, “To avoid fornication”! Paul has just been condemning premarital sexual intercourse — FORNICATION — as a SIN, which breaks the Seventh Commandment.

The plain teaching here is that, to avoid sexual intercourse out of marriage, a man and woman should marry! Have sexual intercourse IN marriage! This has God’s blessing. This is commanded by God!

To avoid the SIN of fornication — unmarried sex — and to have the sexual relationship with God’s blessing in TRUE LOVE, let men and women marry!

The PURPOSE here given is not reproduction, but lawful and righteous sexual intercourse instead of unlawful and sinful fornication. This becomes even more plain as we proceed.

Plain Speaking

Now verse 3: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” The King James translators in the year 1611 tried to translate this in “modest” language, and this largely covers up the true meaning. However, “benevolence” does mean disposition to do good, charitableness, love.

Now read it with the false modesty stripped away, in the Moffatt translation, “The husband must give the wife her conjugal dues, and the wife in the same way must give the husband his …” And the word “conjugal” means sexual or marital.

Notice, in this verse these points. The sexual relation in marriage is a command, “The husband must … and the wife … must …” Notice, next, God’s principle of giving, sharing. Each is to GIVE this sexual-intercourse love to the other. God does not speak of it in terms of carnal taking, or receiving sensual gratification — but in terms of giving love.

Continue, verse 4 — Moffatt: “… a wife cannot do as she pleases with her body — her husband has power, and in the same way a husband cannot do as he pleases with his body — his wife has power.”

Notice how the principle of God’s Law — that of LOVE — of GIVING of outgoing concern rather than selfish gratification, is stressed. It is a command, “a wife cannot …” It does not say “ought not”; it flatly forbids, as contrary to the Law — and consequently SIN — for either husband or wife to use his or her body selfishly. The wife made frigid by false concepts must not withhold sexual intercourse from her husband. Her sex organs do not belong to her — they belong to her husband!

In the same way, a husband cannot withhold participation in coitus from his wife — or, conversely, neither shall a husband make inconsiderate demands on his wife, so that he may use his sex organs as he pleases for his selfish gratification. His sex anatomy does not belong to him. Christ bought both husband and wife with the price of His very life.

Actually our bodies belong to HIM — but He, here, gives the right and power of the husband’s body over to the wife, and the right and authority over the wife’s body to the husband. Yet the teaching of God — the WAY of His Law — denies selfish, taking, and demands considerate giving.

The motive and intention are here involved. Actually, it devolves down to direction of mind and intent — to attitude. The man who argues that this verse of God’s teaching gives him the right to make inconsiderate and selfish demands on the use of his wife’s body — arguing that her body belongs to him — overlooks the fact that his motive and purpose is merely to use his wife’s body for his own sensual gratification without any consideration or outgoing concern for her wishes.

There are times, in the life of any married couple, when it would be cruel, totally inconsiderate, utterly selfish on the part of a husband to demand his own satisfaction and gratification by use of his wife’s body. At such times, God’s teaching, when understood, says the husband’s sexual apparatus does not belong to him — he has no right to use it selfishly at cost of pain, suffering or mental harassment to the wife. God commands each husband to be considerate of his wife’s feelings — to be tender, gentle, as much concerned for her desires and comfort and pleasure as his own.

On the other hand, there are times when sexual union is a definite need for a husband. At such times, the wife must be considerate, and not defraud her husband. At such times she must not claim her body belongs to her and deny it to him.

Then again, the selfish “frigid” wife who deliberately denies love in coitus to her husband, merely because she “isn’t in the mood,” is violating God’s command which says “a wife cannot do as she pleases with her body — her husband has power” — her body belongs to him.

God’s Law, at all times, is the way of love — which is concern and consideration for the other at least equal with that for the self. Selfishness becomes lust. LOVE flees when the whole concern is for self.

Verse 5 of this 7th chapter of I Corinthians becomes still more plain: “Do not withhold sexual intercourse from one another, unless you agree to do so for a time, in order to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again. You must not let Satan tempt you through incontinence.”

Now notice that same verse in the King James version. It shows that abstaining from sexual intercourse in marriage — except by mutual agreement at infrequent intervals — or, for either one to selfishly deny coitus to the other — is actually DEFRAUDING the other!

In other and plainer words, to practice what falsely called “Christian” teaching has demanded for 18 + centuries — withholding sexual intercourse except for begetting children — is a direct violation of God’s teaching — is ITSELF SIN AND DISOBEDIENCE TO GOD — and is DEFRAUDING one’s mate!

This dualistic paganism piled up a mountain of human woe and frustration through these 18 + centuries higher than all the geological mountains of earth piled one on top of the other!

It taught millions of husbands and wives to disobey God’s commands — to commit SIN — and the human suffering is the evidence. Obedience to GOD’S Law brings happiness and joy. SIN brings suffering and misery. The very fruits of this medieval prudery demonstrate that it has been the WAY OF SlN!

Here, then, is that same verse 5 in the King James translation:

“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (pp. 104-109)

The Foundation

It has, in this book, been emphasized that the Holy Bible is the FOUNDATION of all knowledge. Especially is this true in the subject of sex. Also, it provides the right approach to acquirable, experimental and discoverable knowledge.

Now we have the FOUNDATION on which knowledge of the physical details of sex ought to be built. We have, now, the true, wholesome, clean and God-directed attitude as our approach to the biological facts. Now you may view the physical facts with right attitude, clean mind and profound respect and awe for the wisdom of God for having designed SEX for man’s highest GOOD!

God’s ways are PERFECT! They are the bestowal of HIS LOVE!

We are ready, now, to proceed in receiving the necessary BIOLOGICAL knowledge. And even in this physical area, the true WAY is the WAY OF LOVE! Revelation provides the only right APPROACH.

There are TWO biological differences we need to understand. First is the difference between human and animal FEMALES.

So far as reproduction itself goes, the physical process is the same in humans as in mammals. But beyond the purpose of reproduction there are vital differences.

All reproduction in animals and humans comes from a union of male and female elements or cells. Most all physical life is carried on by reproduction through sex. Walt Whitman wrote that we see “everywhere sex, everywhere the urge of procreation.” Flowers, plants, vegetables; the whole of the animal kingdom from the smallest insect to largest mammal; and humans, too — all are male and female.

There is an old Latin phrase, Omne ex ovo, meaning everything comes from an egg.

The beginning of reproduction — in mammals and humans — is from an egg, or ovum. The ovum always is produced by the female. Yet every ovum — human or animal — is infertile of itself. Life must be imparted to it by a sperm cell, called a spermatozoon (plural, spermatozoa), produced within the body of the male. Within the ovum is a nucleus, or dormant germ.

After a sperm cell enters an egg cell, it unites with the nucleus, and then a new human or animal has been begotten, and is well on its way to developing into the same kind, or species, as its parents.

This fertilization of the ovum is called conception, or begettal. A woman in whom such conception has occurred is said to be pregnant. The growing state, from conception until birth, is called gestation, or period of the mother-to-be’s pregnancy. Its birth is called parturition.

This physical process of reproduction is the same in mammals as in humans. But, aside from the reproductive process, there are extremely important biological differences between human and animal females.

Women Different from Female Animals

In both women and female mammals, the ova are produced within the body, by germinal glands called ovaries, of which there are two. In women, an egg cell, or ovum, is produced approximately every four weeks. If the ovum is not fertilized, the uterus discharges a little blood. This is called menstruation, and will be explained more in detail later. Menstruation occurs normally in women about thirteen times a year.

But in ANIMALS, there is no menstruation in the sense and manner it occurs in women {note some few animals do have something very similar, but most animal species do not}.

Female animals have, instead, a rutting period. It does not occur with the frequency of humans. In dogs, for example, females have a rutting time about every six to eight months. In other animals, this occurs less, and in some more frequently. They produce an ovum only once in that period. At all other times, female animals are virtually sexless! The female does not allow the breeding act, and the male animal seldom attempts it. If one does, the female will fight him off with all her strength.

But at this rutting time, commonly spoken of by farmers as a time when the animal is “in heat,” the sexual organs secrete substances which release an odor. This excites the animals automatically (instinct) to sexual intercourse for breeding.

In the animal world, SEX SERVES NO PURPOSE EXCEPT REPRODUCTION! No expression of love, in the human sense, exists. The female sex organs in animals are absolutely DORMANT at all times, except during the rutting period. It would be utterly IMPOSSIBLE to arouse a female animal, sexually, during all this long time from one rutting period to the next. Experiments in artificial insemination have proven that animals cannot be impregnated during the long periods between rutting times.

With animals there is no marriage — no home — no family relationship. No husband-and-wife sexual LOVE relationship. Females are sexless between rutting periods!

Female humans do not have a “rutting period,” or a mating period when they are “in heat.” Between the age of puberty and the time of menopause — roughly between ages fourteen and forty-four, or a duration of approximately thirty years — women have the monthly period (approximately each twenty-eight days) when they menstruate. {The overwhelming majority of} Female animals do not menstruate.

But when “in heat,” the female animal is beside herself with desire for mating. And until she is relieved, by the fertilization of the ripe ovum from coital breeding by the male of her kind, she knows no rest. Actually, unless the female animal is soon bred, she will make every effort — run any risk — to attain pregnancy.

But in women, such things are utterly different! Women are never “in heat.” The presence of an ovum in a Fallopian tube (when it is ready to be fertilized) makes little or no difference in either a woman’s desire for, or reluctance against sexual intercourse. The Kinsey reports and other surveys of doctors, have shown that in many, if not most women, no difference whatever is noted. In the minority, the difference in either desire or abhorrence is slight and merely relative.

What does all this MEAN?

It means that, except for purposes of producing progeny, the functions and responses of sex in women are entirely different from sex in animals. Although marital coitus should never, of course, occur during menstruation (see Ezek. 18:6 and parallel scriptures), there is NO TIME during the month when a women is virtually sexless — when sex functioning goes dormant — when she is unable to engage in coitus with her husband. She is as much capable of coitus at one time as another. (pp. 113-117)

As mentioned above, the Bible teaches that sex is not to take place during menstruation (Leviticus 12:2, 15:19-24, 18:19; Ezekiel 18:5-9, 22:10).

19 And when a woman has discharging—blood is her discharge in her flesh—she is in her separation [for] seven days, and anyone who is coming against her is unclean until the evening.  … 24 And if a man really lies with her, and her separation is on him, then he has been unclean [for] seven days, and all the bed on which he lies is unclean. (Leviticus 15:19,24, LSV)

Medically speaking intercourse during during menstruation increases the risk of tissue damage for more bleeding as well as the risk of infection. “Vaginal sexual intercourse during menstruation is a possible risk factor for the development of endometriosis” and other issues (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6290188/).

Another reason for this seem to be to increase conception, as women are normally not capable of pregnancy while during menstruating.

Other reasons include teaching husband and wife self-control, as well as making intercourse special, as there were times it was not allowed.

Back to the Missing Dimension book:

God made WOMAN, as well as MAN, on a plane infinitely higher than animals! He created SEX in HUMANS as a means of bestowing reciprocal LOVE. He created women so that their sex organs may be used for the purpose of sharing LOVE when pregnancy is virtually IMPOSSIBLE. (At least, when the “rhythm method” advocates say it is.)

Animals DO NOT MARRY. The use of sex for breeding purposes, in animals, is not a matter of lovemaking!

Can you imagine a big bull and a cow in passionate embrace, with their “arms around each other” — that is, trying to wrap their front legs, with their hoofs, around each other, trying to hug and kiss, and caress, and make LOVE?

If a circus could ever train a bull and a cow to put on such an act, it would be sure to bring the house down with side-splitting laughter. You may be sure the circus people would have thought of that — and done it — long ago, IF IT WERE POSSIBLE to train a bull and a cow to go into a LOVE embrace!

Sex SERVES NO PURPOSE OF LOVE with animals!

With mammals, reproduction is brought about by the same process as in humans. But animals DO NOT MARRY. Animals do not have either the “philia” or the “Eros” love. Animals cannot receive the “agape” love from God. With animals, sex does not stimulate desire for LOVE — or, for that matter, for lust.

WHY do people refer to human LUST as “animal passion”? Why do some women say, “Men are BRUTES”? WHY INSULT THE ANIMALS? They do only what God set their brains to cause them to do BY INSTINCT!

In women, sex is a LOVE stimulant. Women can, and usually do, engage in sex as a LOVE embrace, even at times when pregnancy is impossible! Female animals cannot.

When a female animal is served by the male, there is NO LOVE EMBRACE — no lovemaking. The male mounts on the back of the female, imparts the fertilizing spermatozoa and departs.

Human bodies were deliberately designed BY GOD in a different manner — so that sex in humans becomes an embrace of love. …

Women have been given a duration of approximately thirty years of fertility, during which they may become mothers. At an age averaging thirteen or fourteen, girls reach the age of puberty. At that age their breasts develop, for the purpose of supplying milk to newborn babies. Their sex organs mature, and their ovaries begin to produce ova.  …

 As soon as a girl begins her menstrual periods, she is physically capable of becoming a mother. But she is not yet, for some years, mentally and emotionally mature enough for motherhood.

This physical capacity for reproduction continues for approximately thirty years. Then a woman reaches the “change of life” period, called menopause.

After Menopause

Some women reach this period of change at about age forty — some, … as late as age fifty {or more}. …

BUT WHAT ABOUT EXPRESSING LOVE THROUGH SEX?

The Creator designed HUMAN sex (but not animal sex) as a means of expressing pure, righteous and undefiled LOVE. And God commands, “Husbands, LOVE your wives!” And also for women “to LOVE their own husbands.”

Now should a husband and wife stop LOVING each other, after age forty-five or fifty? NEVER!

And so a benevolent, loving GOD, designed women so that they are freed from exposure to pregnancies after this stage of life — BUT THEIR PARTICIPATION IN SEXUAL LOVE WITH THEIR HUSBANDS DOES NOT CEASE!

Actually, most women are either less reluctant (if inhibited by the dualistic repression), or else more desirous of sexual intercourse with their husbands after this period than they were before!

It is true that, after this age, physical sex drives in both sexes begin to slow down gradually. The act of coitus will not be desired quite so often. But if the wife slows down, so also does her husband. So a God who had great outgoing concern for us — His own potential children — designed humans so that husband and wife continue to be endeared to each other by coitus all through life.

And if that is true of expression of physical love, the giving of spiritual love, by those endowed with GOD’S Spirit, conversely should intensify and deepen as the years flit by.
MARRIAGE is ordained “until death do us part.” One purpose of marriage is sexual LOVE. When the other purpose — childbearing — ceases, sexual LOVE continues to draw husband and wife ever closer in the bond of true LOVE — until death parts them!

Can anyone contemplate these wonderful facts of the Creator’s wisdom and love and power, without an emotional feeling of awe, reverence, respect and gratitude?

How WONDERFUL are the works of GOD’S hands!

So we have these marked differences between human and animal females.

These physical, biological differences, as well as God’s WORD, prove that sex in HUMANS was designed for a PURPOSE not applicable to animals. It was designed for MARRIAGE — for FAMILY relationship — for expression of love between husband and wife. And sex provides the means for this bestowal of love “until death do us part,” even into old age!  (pp. 117-122)

Sex is the one human experience you are to only have with your spouse. You can talk with others, eat with others, work with others, go to school with others, play sports or other games with others, and attend entertainment events with others. But one unique thing about God’s plan for human is that sex is the one activity you can only do with your spouse and your spouse with you. It should create a special bond.

Back to the Missing Dimension book:

The God-Ordained Uses of Sex

WHAT IS THE REAL GOD-ordained use of sex in marriage? …

The three God-ordained purposes are marriage; reproduction, which, in marriage, involves the blessing of God-plane FAMILY life; and the expression of marital love and companionship to preserve the matrimonial bond and safeguard the home and family.

But now we come to the HOW of the marital love relationship.

The existence and function of the sex hormones … produce marked differences between men and women. These differences are mental, physical and sexual. They are responsible for that mysterious, elusive, yet fascinating something we call sex appeal.

Sex appeal causes a man to become romantically or lustfully interested in a certain woman. It also prompts a woman to become romantically interested in a certain man. …

Expressing Marital Love

This sexual love-stimulant causes a man to desire to take that one particular girl, not only as his wife — to share his life’s problems, troubles and successes — to be his companion, and the mother of his children — but also to desire to take that special little woman into his arms, and express his love in fond embrace.

The same sexual love-stimulant also causes that certain man to be romantically attractive to a girl — not only to want to be his life companion, the mother of his children and the homemaker of his home — his confidante — but to desire to be taken into his arms and caressed and loved.

In the truly happy marriage, sex is the stimulus for repeated kissing and romantic embrace and lovemaking. But it also serves to provide that frequent supreme expression and consummation of love-embrace in the sexual relation.

THIS IS WHAT AN ALL-WISE, LOVING GOD INTENDED AND DESIGNED IT TO BE! This, in a marriage bound for life by the very Creator, is a most righteous, clean and HOLY relationship.

God made humans of physical matter, and equipped them with five physical senses. These may be expressed in a God-ordained right way, or in a sinful wrong way.

I repeat — it is God-endowed and right that we enjoy the taste of delicious, wholesome health-building food; that we enjoy the sight of a beautiful English landscape or the breathtaking snowcapped Swiss Alps; that we enjoy the sound of beautiful and inspiring music.

And it is just as right — and just as God-CREATED and God-ORDAINED — that a husband and wife, joined in marriage by God Himself, receive perhaps the pinnacle of all enjoyment in the ecstasy of occasional coitus in marriage! This is the SUPREME expression of love between husband and wife. It is entirely too intense an experience through the senses to be indulged in to excess. As in all things, God’s WAY for our maximum good is the way of intelligent temperance. Temperance is one of the fruits of God’s Spirit. (pp. 163-166)

Marriage is not for children! Marriage is for ADULTS. Marriage is pretty serious business!

Marriage entails the assuming of very serious responsibilities. Children do not realize this, of course. Marriage is a lot more than romance. It is more than daydreams about a “Prince Charming,” or floating around on “cloud nine,” or being in a lover’s arms. (p. 220)

No wife should ever need to suffer the fear of pregnancy. It is natural for every wife to want to become a mother. To prevent having children and producing a FAMILY would be a direct violation of God’s command, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” But to PLAN a family in an intelligent manner, as to the time of the first arrival, and the time-spacing of other children — that is a different matter. Nothing in the Bible forbids this. MUCH in the Bible, in principle, supports it! (p. 232)

Conclusion

In final conclusion, remember that sex, in humans, was designed and created by the ever-living, all-wise GOD as the symbol of LIFE (for through it human life is begotten) and the expression of LOVE.

The Eternal God is working out His greatest and grandest PURPOSE here below. That purpose is the reproduction of His own Kind — holy, righteous and perfect CHARACTER in the divine FAMILY of the ever-living God! Humans, physically begotten and born through sex, may be spiritually begotten and divinely BORN of GOD — entering the ETERNALLY LIVING GOD FAMILY!

As physical reproduction is the type and forerunner of spiritual begettal and glorification, so marital LOVE is the type of Christ’s LOVE for His Church, and our love for Christ. (p. 248)

The Continuing Church of God also has this related sermon on its ContinuingCOG channel:
1:18

Sex and Marriage

Why is there sex and why is there marriage? Parental discretion is advised as to whether or not everything in this sermon is now appropriate for their children. Dr. Thiel goes over scriptures, “The Missing Dimension in Sex,” and provides answers to questions, such as:

What did Jesus say about marriage?
Are married couples biblically supposed to have sex?
Is sex one way to express love?
Does God have a purpose for sex?
What are the reasons for sex in marriage?
What are the purposes for marriage?
How do humans differ from animals?
Was sex really necessary?
What are the divine purposes of sex?
Why not fornication or adultery?
is marriage supposed to be a God-plane relationship?
Are families intended as a God-plane relationship?
How does reproduction picture spiritual salvation?
What are the different types of love?
What type of love should Christians have?
Is oral sex allowed?
Is anal sex prohibited by scripture?
Should intercourse be avoided during a woman’s menstrual cycle?
Is it appropriate to enjoy your five senses?
Are Christian couples supposed to produce godly offspring?
What about building character and God’s deification plan?

Here is a link to the video: Sex and Marriage.

More on marriage can be found in the article: Making Your Marriage Work. Information on birth control can be found in the article: Are any types of birth control scripturally allowed?

For the unmarried, as well as those perhaps looking towards a second marriage, we have a free online booklet: Dating: A Key to Success in Marriage, a practical dating guide for Christians.

For more on why God created anything as well as why God made you, check out the free online booklet: The MYSTERY of GOD’s PLAN: Why Did God Create Anything? Why Did God Make You?